Jeremy Clarkson citat...

[C]

Hittade en rolig tråd på annat forum.

Om Alfa Romeo Brera:
“Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste.
But you would, wouldn’t you?”

“The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.”

Enzo Ferrari
“I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing.”

“Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable.
More comfortable than what… being stabbed!?”

“I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.”

“Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels.
You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.”

“I don’t understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?”


På deras andra reda genom USA påpekade Jeremy att Dodge hade misslyckats med förse Top Gear med en Challenger:

"If this were a normal episode of Top Gear, we would just make one, out of leaves or something."

"I think Koenigsegg is swedish for "oh no, my head just exploded!"

Sittande i en Mitsubishi EVO 9(?):
"This car is just as fast as a Ferrari 360, except when it rains...... .... ... Then it's even faster!" *WROOOM*

“The Caterham may only have 250bhp, but you have to remember
that it weighs about the same as a J-cloth”

(j-cloth = disktrasa)


Some say,
that he truly belives that foot-ball is a medical condition… and fear is just a low scoring word in scrabble.
All that we know is he’s called THE STIG!.


JC om BMW M5:

"First of all it´s modelled on the new 5-series wich isn´t quietly styled at all, it´s a big ungainly thing.
With a lardy backside and the elegance of an abutoar"..(?)

"You just cannot believe you are drivin a quiet, comfortable 4-door saloon. Because it just isn´t anymore, it is a raving, mad, axe-murderer."

"In M-mode, this car is just, soo hard and soo brutal and fast like you simply wouldn´t believe. It´s absolutely unbelievable good, just as long as you keep that M-button pushed.

"It´s certain that this is the best M5 ever, and that means it´s the best 4-door saloon ever. Infact it might even be better than that. It might even be better than the new Ferrari F430.."

"In M-mode your taken to a time and a place where there are no jams, no compromises. It´s a world of motoring perfection."

"You wanna take it on? Don´t bother, doesn´t matter what you´ve got, it doesn´t matter what you driven. This is quicker, it´s faster, it´s MORE astonishing."

"You just cannot believe that your in a big 4-door saloon, because it goes, and it feels and it sounds like a Ferrari F430. And that´s about the best car i´ve ever driven."


Corvette Z06:

“As something to live with every day, I’d rather have bird flu.”

Detroit:

“God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place.”


"It's a 1993 1 litre Fiat Panda CLX. Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Jerrold. And if Jerrold runs around his wheel very very fast it will get me from 0-60 in 18 seconds!"

“Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary… that’s what gets you.”


“If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.”


“I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.”

“Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.”

“I don’t understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?”

"And when you rely on a sat nav, you don’t notice that the sun is in the wrong place in the sky. You stop using your inbuilt compass, your innate sense of which way is up. And don’t argue with any of this. Everyone can navigate by instinct, and if you can’t there’s something wrong with you and you should be in prison. The only people who can’t navigate instinctively are women and anyone trying to find Malpensa airport in Milan. "

"We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging"

"Now we've been told in this new series, we've got to feature more green cars. So here's one. It's really the greenest car we could find, really. (A bright green Lamborghini Murcielago)"

"Now we get quite a few complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show, so we're kicking off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all. (a Ferrari F430)"

"Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill and then run over him again for good measure. They are designed to melt ice caps, kill the poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands and turn the entire third world into a huge uninhabitable desert, all that before they nicked all the oil in the world "

"(On the Audi R8) Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase, but this is like smearing honey onto Keira Knightley. "


"The Ferrari 355 is like a quail's egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts' belly button. "

"You do not just avoid the Suzuki Wagon R. You avoid it like you would avoid unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite. "

"(On the evolution of the Golf GTI between MkI and MkIV) I voted for this as the greatest car of the 20th century. Over the years, however, the Golf GTI got bigger, and fatter, and slower. Think of it as Elvis Presley. It started off all athletic and full of vigour, and wound up on the lavatory, an enormous, dribbling hulk."


Even if it has no sense of humour at all, I would say, this is very possibly, the best car i've ever driven.

(Om Audi R8 V10

BMW 1-serien

"I’m choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap.

BMW 6-seien

"If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside."

"So, the BMW M6. How would it stack up to the Aston I drove earlier? There is a lot to not like about the BMW. The grotesque carbon-fibre dashboard, the enormous steering wheel and the fact that this one is the colour of a vet's forearm."

[Järnkaminen]

Att den gubben är ju bara för skön! Säkert jävligt enerverande att ha runt sig .

[ErikJ]

min idol.. finns en klubb på facebook... att han borde vara president eller hur det var hehe.. gick med i den fort